Over the past few years I've been on a roller coaster journey of learning to love and feel comfortable in my own skin and I admit, it hasn't always been easy... and sometimes I feel like I'm a walking ghost.
The thing about pale skin, is that is is often loathed by many and loved by few. Here are a few examples of the type of negative tweets that you see just by searching the words 'pale skin' on twitter...
It breaks my heart and makes me feel sad reading those tweets, not only because I used to think and feel the same way, but because society has this image of the perfect woman ingrained into our minds, and she certainly doesn't appear to have pale skin...
Gone are the days when I used to worry about reaching that ideal image, 'fitting in' and not looking pale, smothering myself in fake tanners and caking my skin in foundation and powder in shades that are nowhere near natural, and should never have made their way onto my face.
A few years ago, my skin tone used to rule my life. Before going somewhere I had to make sure I'd put my fake tan on the day before, had to make sure I had a dark enough foundation, had to avoid white clothes, white sheets, white anything... and I had to look like everyone else... i'm sure it's no surprise that eventually I started having panic attacks before going out with my girlfriends.
And it didn't just end there, i'd be paranoid about my skin being blotchy, getting rained on or if i'd exfoliated enough to stop the blotchiness... it was a never ending circle, and that doesn't even include the other options of tanning beds or sunbathing. As my Grandmother had skin cancer few years ago, (she luckily made a good recovery) the thought of possibly self inflicting skin cancer on myself by using tanning beds and sunbathing scares me.
I can't remember when I stopped using fake tanners, but I remember the weeks afterwards. I remember worrying less, and not minding if I didn't look like a bronzed goddess. I remember when I started to be okay with being pale, and that it didn't matter if my 'legs looked less toned' because they were pale.
Now, I haven't worn fake tan in well over a year, I wear either a moisturiser with SPF 30 or SPF 50 sunscreen depending on what i'm doing that day and I've thrown myself well into the world of experimenting with pale skin beauty and finding out which products really enhance my skin tone, instead of masking it.
I've banned myself from wearing fake tan, and to go with that - you will never see a fake tan review on My Pale Skin.
The moment I let go and work with my natural skin tone, and stopped trying to hide it was the moment I started to become happier. We choose clothes based on what makes us feel comfortable and happy, but unfortunately we can't chose our skin tone - without damaging it or artificially colouring it - so stop fighting it, it's okay to be the palest person in your friendship group, yes it's annoying not being able to easily find foundation in your shade, but when you find a style that works for - run with it.
Learning to love my skin colour brought me a level of confidence I didn't have before, and helped me on my road to becoming a better person, and y'know what - I don't ever have to worry about smelling like digestive biscuits again.