How blogging helped me get my confidence back.
Saturday, 5 July 2014
I post pictures of myself on the internet without make up, I've just started a YouTube channel and I attend blogger events every month, yet when people meet me, they're surprised at how shy I actually am. I find it hard to meet new people, to put myself out there 'in real life' and to make friends.
Life has it's ups and downs, and previous events in my life for various reasons have shaped me into the person I am today. I never used to be shy, I never used to find it hard to talk to people. Sometimes I used to be the loudest person in the room. Yet when life deals you a series of blows, you adapt and protect yourself. I guess for me, that meant hermit mode, and a mile long mental barrier i'd built around myself.
I started this blog 6 months ago as a hobby, and as a way to explore my love of makeup whilst learning 'how to girl'. If you had told me that in the first 6 months, my content on 2 platforms would be viewed over 125,000 times - I would never have believed you and I still can't quite believe that has actually happened.
However, it's not the stats, or page views that have helped me, nor is it the follower count. What has really helped me begin the process of getting my confidence back is actually the blogging community. More specifically my fellow bloggers and the warmth and welcome I've received from them.
There have been a few stand out moments to me in the past few months that have meant the world to me, from people going out of their way to make me feel welcome when they could sense I was a bit lost or nervous at events... to the support, encouragement and backing from bloggers online, who believe in me.
This week I attended the Bourjois Summer Party in London, and for the first time in a while, I felt more confident at a blogger event. It may have been that I'd already text a few bloggers letting them know I was on my way or attending, or even the fact that I'd already worked out there were at least 5 people in the building I had met at least once before; but something about the event on Wednesday made me feel a little different, stand up a little taller and smile a little more.
I started to feel more content with myself, and happier - less self conscious (but well, let's face it still as awkward as ever) and the reason for that essentially boils down to the fact that I felt welcome. I felt like I fit in and I felt like I belonged there and that is all down to the blogging community.
I look forward to the times when I don't freak out before I travel somewhere, or need to text people in advance, I don't need to panic if I look okay, or pretend to look busy on my phone and also the times when I can walk into a room and strike up a conversation with someone I don't know. I've come this far in 6 months, and I sure as hell can't wait to see where i'll be at in another.
TL;DR: Thank you for being awesome, welcoming and caring. Bloggers really do make the greatest friends.