Why It's OKAY to feel Lonely.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Sometimes when the sun goes down and I'm just left with me and my emotions, it almost feels as if there's a whole world ticking on by, inside my head. Where every second can be a year of my life flashing through my mind surrounded by thoughts of people and places from past to present.
There always seems to be something constantly and selfishly running through my mind at 2:00am even though i'd likely wasted the previous two or three or four hours browsing the internet and refreshing news articles hoping to see some other form of internet junk for eyes appear in front of me, often in the hopes that it will spur on some sort of thoughts and feelings of happiness, excitement or cause me to reminisce of times gone by instead of wistfully wasting away hours which are better spent elsewhere.

There often seems to be an endless amount of nights gone by where it's just me and my laptop, connecting, chatting and talking online - where fairly frequently one can be found to be the life and soul of the (internet) party surrounded by thousands of friends at the click of a button and the swipe of a finger, although in reality, it's just me and my well loved cuddly animals at home with some sort unhealthy carb based meal that I'll likely regret an hour after finishing.

Sometimes I even close my laptop and imagine what it's like to spend more time outside where i'm surrounded by friends in what most 'normal' people would call real life. At a a venue that I don't have keys for and a place where there isn't a laptop in site, confidence is mile high and there's not a worry in the world.

And when I find myself wide awake at 2:00am thinking of all the things I didn't do that evening and all the friends that I don't have, sometimes I smile. Sometimes I simper and squeeze the duvet that extra bit tighter because I know what it feels like to feel alive.

Because in all honesty, it's better to feel loneliness and stay true to who you are as a person, hold your own thoughts, feelings and flaws close to you, and be in a safe environment where you can spend the whole entire weekend sat around in your pants, where a 'sharing sized' bag of Doritos means 'meal for one' and not brushing your hair for 48 hours is perfectly acceptable. It's better to worry about a lack of social life than fill every precious moment with fake friends in even faker environments to conform to a perception of a perfect life.

There may often be positives hidden away somewhere deep down inside a negative and if you find yourself feeling lonely when home alone, in a crowded room full of people, on the tube, or even in the street.. I try and remember that the only difference between solitude and loneliness is a state of mind and instead of focusing on the negative implications that can come with being alone, and instead think of the positive aspects that come with pure reflection.

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.
Henry Rollins

And that, my lovely internet friends, is why it's okay to feel lonely.
Em xxx 


  1. I can totally relate to this and I am the exact same. Having a toddler and a boyfriend that works way more then he should, in a new country where I barely have friends/family means that yes I am on my own most evenings. That's why I throw myself into blogging whenever I can and work on that rather then worrying about my non existent social life. It is nice to get out and about at times but for me that isn't very often, so when it does happen I truly cherish it x

    Beauty with charm

  2. Great inspirational post! Thanks for sharing <3 everyone gets lonely but it's always great to know your not alone. xx

  3. These are such beautiful nights and I relate so strongly. I can even feel lonely around people, however those moments of feeling alive are worth it.

  4. i recently did a post about loneliness too and I can completely relate to this! I'm studying for my uni degree from home and I don't have a huge amount of friends, so there's so many moments where I feel lonely/isolated. Like you said though, I would probably still have moments like that if I was actually at uni surrounded by lots of people! Blogging has really helped me with this though. The blogging community is great and it's always nice to have a hobby that takes up a lot of time and allows you to interact with lots of other people who are just like you!

  5. This is beautiful. This specific line: "It's better to worry about a lack of social life than fill every precious moment with fake friends in even faker environments to conform to a perception of a perfect life." I think is such a real statement about watching other people live their lives through Instagram, Blogs, Pinterest, social media in general. It's really important to remember that what we are seeing is only a snapshot of that person's life and it only shows what they want the world to see. It doesn't show the lonely nights, the bad hair days, the sadness or regret. It only shows their perfect social media moments.

    Wonderful post!

  6. This is such a beautiful post, I feel like you've taken everything from my head and put it down on a page. I love spending time in my own company and find it quite exhausting to be out with friends regularly socialising. Just me, my laptop and the beauty community are what make be so incredibly happy!

    Lydia //

  7. Such a lovely post, i quite often feel lonely whilst in the busiest of places.

    Diana X

  8. Thank you, I needed to read this. I've been feeling isolated from friends that don't live too close by to just easily visit them (not unless I have a bigger budget!) and it started to make me feel anxious. This post was the reminder I needed <3

  9. This is such a brilliant post- I've completely fallen in love with your blog! X

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