How do you define beauty?

Beauty is a word which can conjure a clean and definitive image in our mind every time we hear it. Whether it's a Victoria's Secret model strutting down the catwalk, or a bunch of freshly cut long stemmed roses... beauty is a word which can mean many things, to many people.

A Self Confidence Journey...

One of the things I get asked about fairly frequently is advice on learning to love the skin you're in. I'm the last person to ever say my blog is all about natural beauty, what with my love of make up products and bleaching my hair.. However, I love finding new ways to feel beautiful from within, and the biggest thing that can affect that beauty is confidence.

Sometimes it's easy to lose track of where you've come from, when you constantly looking towards where you want to be. I took some time this week to reflect and remind myself of what I've achieved in my self confidence journey in what is almost 10 months of blogging and I wanted to share my confidence journey with you too.

Here's a list of all my inner beauty posts so far. It helped me more than I realized writing these posts, and even more reading them back. I hope they can help you too.

Dealing With Hate & Criticism

Why It's OKAY To Feel Lonely

The Fear of Never Being Good Enough

The Ugly Side of Beauty

How Blogging Helped improve my self esteem...

How Learning To Love My Pale Skin Made Me Happy

Why Life Is Too Short For Matching Socks

Why It's Important To Compare Yourself... To Yourself And Nobody Else.

Top Tips For Dealing With The Blogger Blues

Tips & Tricks To Feel More Confident At Blogger Events

How Blogging Helped Me Get My Confidence Back

Thanks for reading, and If you've ever written a self confidence post, leave me a link below! I'd love to read it. 

Em xxx

Why It's OKAY to feel Lonely.

Sometimes when the sun goes down and I'm just left with me and my emotions, it almost feels as if there's a whole world ticking on by, inside my head. Where every second can be a year of my life flashing through my mind surrounded by thoughts of people and places from past to present.
There always seems to be something constantly and selfishly running through my mind at 2:00am even though i'd likely wasted the previous two or three or four hours browsing the internet and refreshing news articles hoping to see some other form of internet junk for eyes appear in front of me, often in the hopes that it will spur on some sort of thoughts and feelings of happiness, excitement or cause me to reminisce of times gone by instead of wistfully wasting away hours which are better spent elsewhere.

There often seems to be an endless amount of nights gone by where it's just me and my laptop, connecting, chatting and talking online - where fairly frequently one can be found to be the life and soul of the (internet) party surrounded by thousands of friends at the click of a button and the swipe of a finger, although in reality, it's just me and my well loved cuddly animals at home with some sort unhealthy carb based meal that I'll likely regret an hour after finishing.

Sometimes I even close my laptop and imagine what it's like to spend more time outside where i'm surrounded by friends in what most 'normal' people would call real life. At a a venue that I don't have keys for and a place where there isn't a laptop in site, confidence is mile high and there's not a worry in the world.

And when I find myself wide awake at 2:00am thinking of all the things I didn't do that evening and all the friends that I don't have, sometimes I smile. Sometimes I simper and squeeze the duvet that extra bit tighter because I know what it feels like to feel alive.

Because in all honesty, it's better to feel loneliness and stay true to who you are as a person, hold your own thoughts, feelings and flaws close to you, and be in a safe environment where you can spend the whole entire weekend sat around in your pants, where a 'sharing sized' bag of Doritos means 'meal for one' and not brushing your hair for 48 hours is perfectly acceptable. It's better to worry about a lack of social life than fill every precious moment with fake friends in even faker environments to conform to a perception of a perfect life.

There may often be positives hidden away somewhere deep down inside a negative and if you find yourself feeling lonely when home alone, in a crowded room full of people, on the tube, or even in the street.. I try and remember that the only difference between solitude and loneliness is a state of mind and instead of focusing on the negative implications that can come with being alone, and instead think of the positive aspects that come with pure reflection.

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.

Henry Rollins

And that, my lovely internet friends, is why it's okay to feel lonely.

Em xxx 

Why It's OKAY to feel Lonely.

Sometimes when the sun goes down and I'm just left with me and my emotions, it almost feels as if there's a whole world ticking on by, inside my head. Where every second can be a year of my life flashing through my mind surrounded by thoughts of people and places from past to present.
There always seems to be something constantly and selfishly running through my mind at 2:00am even though i'd likely wasted the previous two or three or four hours browsing the internet and refreshing news articles hoping to see some other form of internet junk for eyes appear in front of me, often in the hopes that it will spur on some sort of thoughts and feelings of happiness, excitement or cause me to reminisce of times gone by instead of wistfully wasting away hours which are better spent elsewhere.

There often seems to be an endless amount of nights gone by where it's just me and my laptop, connecting, chatting and talking online - where fairly frequently one can be found to be the life and soul of the (internet) party surrounded by thousands of friends at the click of a button and the swipe of a finger, although in reality, it's just me and my well loved cuddly animals at home with some sort unhealthy carb based meal that I'll likely regret an hour after finishing.

Sometimes I even close my laptop and imagine what it's like to spend more time outside where i'm surrounded by friends in what most 'normal' people would call real life. At a a venue that I don't have keys for and a place where there isn't a laptop in site, confidence is mile high and there's not a worry in the world.

And when I find myself wide awake at 2:00am thinking of all the things I didn't do that evening and all the friends that I don't have, sometimes I smile. Sometimes I simper and squeeze the duvet that extra bit tighter because I know what it feels like to feel alive.

Because in all honesty, it's better to feel loneliness and stay true to who you are as a person, hold your own thoughts, feelings and flaws close to you, and be in a safe environment where you can spend the whole entire weekend sat around in your pants, where a 'sharing sized' bag of Doritos means 'meal for one' and not brushing your hair for 48 hours is perfectly acceptable. It's better to worry about a lack of social life than fill every precious moment with fake friends in even faker environments to conform to a perception of a perfect life.

There may often be positives hidden away somewhere deep down inside a negative and if you find yourself feeling lonely when home alone, in a crowded room full of people, on the tube, or even in the street.. I try and remember that the only difference between solitude and loneliness is a state of mind and instead of focusing on the negative implications that can come with being alone, and instead think of the positive aspects that come with pure reflection.

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.

Henry Rollins

And that, my lovely internet friends, is why it's okay to feel lonely.

Em xxx 

Dealing with Hate and Criticism

It doesn't matter who you are, or what you do in life, it's inevitable that people will hate you. And I know that sounds harsh and unfair.. but it's true. I always grew up understanding that fact and knowing that not everybody will be nice, friendly or kind towards me. I built a mental defense and barrier to keep negativity out of my mind... although often sadly at the expense of keeping positivity away too.

As I got older, and after having some horrible life experiences thrown at me, I adapted and did my best to try and move on. I guess I built a mind frame of expecting negativity as I'd much rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed... I had it in my head that if you constantly expect the worst, then it makes the good times better...

However, what changed that mind frame for me, is blogging. It has truly given me a new lease of life and helped lift my confidence and spirits and in the 9 months I've been blogging... I've been lucky to only be see the positive side of the community and feel nothing but warmth...

That was, until I was messaged a link to a page with hundreds of comments tearing me apart. And as much as I'd love to say that it didn't bother me, that I laughed it off... and carried on... it got to me.
It took me to a place I didn't want to go and i've struggled to look at my blog all week because of it.

I work full time, and put in every spare minute into my blog. It has beome a part of me and as it grows, I'm growing with it. It makes me sad to think that I let insignificant people get to me, and missed posting because of it. When I started My Pale Skin, I didn't start it as a place to have a 'pale pissing contest' or claim to be the 'most pale girl' in the world and as dumb as that sounds...some people take great pride in themselves to try and argue how pale they are in comparison to me... which is quite frankly ridiculous.

I started this blog as a place where I'd like to become confident in my own skin - physically and mentally. A place where we enhance ourselves, rather than mask it with tan and fakery... and a place to share tips on what is working for me. This blog is a place of honesty.. where it's okay to have a bad day and it doesn't matter if you don't have perfect skin.. or perfect hair. This is a place where I can just be me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, this blog is a big learning curve for me and one which I adore writing... and having let some bullies get to me this week and miss a few days posting... I apologize.

So welcome to November, where I'm aiming to post 5 blog posts and 1 video per week... and work on my self confidence. Although we cant change other people, we can change ourselves and I'm going to do my best to make this month a good one.

Thanks for reading. 

Em xxx 

The Fear Of Never Being Good Enough

Do you ever have one of those days where you wish and long and for the ground to swallow you up, where you look in the mirror and over analyze your entire face, body and mind and hope that if you stare long enough at your reflection something will eventually begin to change? Do you open your blog in the hope of finding some inspiration and stare at the blank page for what seems like hours on end?

Chances are, you most probably have, and you're not alone.

This week I wrote up my October Wishlist post, and I admit, it took me a lot longer than it should have and that wasn't because there were too many products I wanted or needed... it was simply because all the things I'm really wishing for this October aren't products you can easily pick up off the shelf.

If you suffer from Atelophobia, low self esteem or one of many other issues, there are times where you just want to sit in a dark room by yourself, hug a teddy bear and block out the outside world. I've no shame in admitting that I have many of these evenings and and have spent many days wishing time away so I can sleep again and not have to face people. Which is one of the reasons why I find it that much easier to make friends online than in real life, but as you guys know - i'm working on improving my real life people skillzzz.

This week i've mostly been wishing for a thinner waist, longer hair, brighter hair, blonder hair, silver hair, a new wardrobe, those shoes i donated to a charity shop 2 years ago, whiter teeth, straighter teeth, fake teeth, new make up, all the make up, pale make up...

It's funny how just writing that led me to a moment of realization... If you stare long enough at your reflection trying to find the things you don't like, you'll never find the things you do and when I have a day, evening or week feeling that way there's one thing that I find helps me...

I close the laptop, take my make off, put my hair in a bun, change into my onesie and spend time just being me.

So what does that really mean? 

For me, it's time spent without any responsibilities or pressures. Where I don't have to think, make decisions or worry. I find that living a busy life can mean that I spent a lot of my free time thinking about things I haven't yet done, things I wish to achieve but have no time for and things I could have done better. I always seem to have constant doubts running though my mind which can make me insecure or less confident in myself and there's nothing that feel better about myself than a night of sitting around in my pants, playing video games and napping.

I often worry if i'll ever get over my fear of not being good enough, or if it's a feeling i'll always carry with me. Although on the other side, I can't help but think that what if it's my fears of failure that make me driven, ambitious, and determined...

...and without those fears, would I still have the same passions, goals and expectations? 

Em xxx

5 Things I've Learnt About Myself and Blogging Since I Started.

Since starting My Pale Skin 9 months ago, blogging has taken over my life. I've learnt a lot about the blogging world, made friends, improved my confidence, expanded my make up collection and learnt new skills. In no particular order, I wanted to share with you 5 things i've learnt in the past 9 months.

1. You may not have created a human child in the past 9 months, but you have created a baby.
I admit, I have a slight addictive personality, i'm an ex smoker, and have previously had around 4389529850 hobbies - but nothing has really meant as much to me as blogging has. My Pale Skin has turned into my baby, I feed it new content everyday, I care for it, nuture it and have tried to provide it with the best start in life. However, just like a baby, you can't expect it to walk and talk straight away. I've found my voice over the past few months, and as my confidence has grown with small baby steps, I'm beginning to talk louder, more confidently and let go.

2. You don't need to buy all of the things, all of the time.
When I first started blogging, I guess I kind of fell into the trap that in order to be a good blogger I had to buy every new product that was released. After a while, I learnt not to get caught up in the moment, and to go back through my make up collection and figure out which products truly worked for me. I feel like I've grown my own personal make up style, and how to reuse products in different ways.

3. You've come further than you realize.
There have been times over the past few months where I've got the blogger blues. The demon of comparison has got to me and I've lost faith in myself. One simple thing changed the game for me - I compared my first blog post with my last and it really opened my eyes that if I work hard, keep learning and just focus on my own blog instead of comparing it to others and instead of bashing my confidence down, it'll slowly begin to grow.

4. Bloggers are friendly and not scary people you should be afraid of.
The thought of starting a blog never really occurred to me until I began getting daily requests from the internet forum where I used to post my make up looks. I started blogging not knowing any bloggers in real life, or ever having been to a blogger event. I remember being totally afraid at my first few events, and not speaking to anyone. It was only after meeting and spending time with bloggers such as Zaineb, April, Monica & Beth amongst many others did I understand how warm, welcoming and friendly the blogging community can really be. These girls opened my eyes and my heart to being able to make true friends in this community and have been more of an influence than they'll ever know.

5. Believe in yourself because it's OKAY to be you.
There have been times I've arrived late at events, or worried that my make up doesn't look right, my hair is a mess, or i'm not feeling good about myself that day and you know what - that's okay. In the blogging and vlogging world, we only see a tiny snapshot of someones day or life - and often not the bits which can truly define a person. I've learnt that if you try to please everyone instead of yourself, you'll never win. Believe in who you are as a person, if you feel confident about a post you've written, going out without make up on, or even going out with all the make up on - if you feel good then screw what other people may think. Sometimes you just need to have a little faith in yourself because you never know, you may just surprise yourself.

I'd love to hear what you've learnt about yourself in the past few months, let me know in the comments!

Em xxx

The Ugly Side of Beauty

Beauty is a word that can conjure up an image of bliss for some, and pain for others. It can be a set of ideals, or a path of inspiration or even aspiration. As a small town girl, growing up in the middle of nowhere I idolized the type of beauty that I saw in magazines and movies.

As an 11 year old girl just starting high school I didn't fit into that image of beauty, which seemed to be in everyone's minds. I had a physical facial scar which turned into a mental scar after a few classroom bullies thought it would be fun to call me 'scar face'. After a family member bought me my first concealer to 'cover it up' - my obsession with make up was born. I learnt at a young age, how different make up can make you feel. Granted looking back I can tell you that the concealer didn't cover up my scar, was likely 3 shades too dark for my pale skin and applied incorrectly - but it made me feel better.

Which is where my ugly obsession with beauty began. It seemed like growing up, nothing was ever right for me and there was always something which could be improved, concealed and analyzed. I wanted to look like the girls in the magazines, the women on tv and the glamorous women who slinked down the red carpet at The Oscars. Being seen without make up was frowned upon, there were magazines dedicated to pointing out people's flaws. Being pale was, and in many ways still is seen as a negative and unattractive, and magazines were always quick to point out if someone was looking 'pasty' or without make up.

However, growing up in 2014, is almost an entirely different world to growing up in the nineties or noughties as Blogs and vloggers are everywhere and It seems to me that the ugly side of beauty is starting to be broken down - with online campaigns such as the '#nomakeupselfie' making the rounds, girls are almost feeling more confident in their skin than ever.

Youtubers are becoming more popular than celebrities and the beauty world is struggling to keep up sometimes. I'm hoping that these exciting beauty avenues will be a positive influence on the new generation of beauty lovers out there as I for one, would much rather live in a world where girls are idolizing Zoella than Katie Price, and where demure fashion is more popular than glamour model chic - and as a former playboy bunny loving girl, that is an easy choice to make.

For this blogger, the ugly side of beauty is the thought or motion that in order to be beautiful you have to look a certain way... and as shameful as it sounds, it took me over twenty years to realize that isn't true. I'm proud to finally feel confident in my own skin and for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm finally finding true beauty.

Em xxx

How Blogging Improved My Self-Esteem...

When I first started posting make up looks online, I did so on a forum where it was all about the make up. Nobody cared what your name was or where you were from, they just wanted to see what you'd created. After constant requests and tons of encouragement, I finally started a blog and to be honest, I had no idea what would come of it.

I didn't expect that in less than 9 months, tens of thousands of people would view my blog every month, I'd get the opportunities I have been given and I'd meet the people I have. My Pale Skin is my baby, and I love how much happiness and warmth it has brought into my life.

A few things My Pale Skin has changed for me is my confidence and along with that, it has brought me friendship. A lot of people struggle with loneliness, and you know what,  i'm not afraid to admit that for the past few years I didn't have friends, I suffered from low self esteem, as well as loneliness... All I did in life was go to work, go home, eat, sleep. That was my life - if you could call it one. I was a shell of myself, and to be honest, I barely recognized who I was anymore.

Blogging changed all that for me. It gave me an outlet to be creative, an opportunity to feel empowered, and a chance to connect with other people online who share the same interests, in a way I often struggle with in life. When you're a child, making friends is easy, you have so many options and places you can meet others, however what you don't learn until you're an adult, is how difficult it is to make actual friends. Everyone is busy, nobody has anything in common and if like me, you live in London - nobody talks to each other.

I've met so many new people, at some great events and I feel like i've made some amazing friends since I began blogging, and they've all helped me in different ways. It's funny how personal confidence and self esteem can affect making friends and it's only since I began putting myself out there more, letting myself be awkward, and knowing that sometimes you need to have the bad experiences to appreciate the good has my life changed.

I'm so thankful to everyone who takes the time to read my blog and for the opportunities and friends that I've made through blogging. I can't wait to see where i'm at mentally and creatively in a years time and I hope you stick around for the jourey.

Em xxx

Why it's important to compare yourself... to yourself and nobody else.

I recently wrote about overcoming the 'Blogging Blues'  and I had so many lovely comments, tweets and emails from readers and blogger friends who related to it. In my post, one of my points was to not compare yourself to others, but only to yourself. I shared on twitter 2 photos that represented my blogging journey better than any words ever could. My first and last blog photos. I even started a photo sharing session with many bloggers sharing their first and last photos too.  

As bloggers we spend so much time learning. We're constantly learning new about new products, fashions, trends, techniques and skills. We're constant researchers, we live and breathe social media and imagery, but all of this comes with a hidden downfall - comparison. 

The problem with living in a world full of social media is that we're surrounded by other people, albeit virtually - but often there's no escaping it. That comes with the hidden price of insecurity and envy for good measure. We spend so much time looking forward and trying to better ourselves and our blogs that we never really look back at where we started.

I wanted to share with you three visual examples of how I've grown over the past few months since I started my blog. From the sole single product shot, to the haul post and the make up look - my imagery has changed so much it's almost unrecognizable as belonging to the same person, taken with the same camera. 

The Single Product Shot

Gone are the days of the dull, flat product shot with a busy background. Instead replaced with a clean, bright and airy image making full use of the depth of field my DSLR has to offer. I feel proud when I look at the image of the Kadalys Banana Balm, and I cringe when I see the image of the elf acne blemish powder. 

The Haul / Multi Product Post

I actually laughed when I compared these images side by side.The old image taken on a bit of wood found on the side of the road with products 'artfully arranged' in what can only be described as a horrendous attempt. To the bright airy shot of the Kiko Eyeshadow sticks. Even though the new image isn't perfect, and there are things I wish I did differently, it's a visual reminder of how much i've improved and how far i've come. That old tatty bit of brown wood - has been painted white is the base that the products stand on. 

The Make Up Shot

Can you believe I wasn't actually wearing fake tan in the first pictures? I had no idea how to use or set the white balance on my camera when I first started sharing photos of my make up online. My photos all had a yellow tint to them, which massively affected how my make up looked. If you look at the eyes, you can see that they're a grey/yellow in the first and bright white in the second. 

The two biggest changes that happened to my make up pictures were learning how to use my camera properly - including the white balance, and learning not to use warm yellow table lamps to light my face.

I wanted to write this post to show you why it's important to compare yourself only to yourself. I didn't fully realise how much i'd improved, learned and grown until I put these images together. It makes me proud to look at my latest images - I still cant believe that I took all of these photos.

This is my blog journey so far in photos, and a reflection of how I've grown as a blogger. I would absolutely love to see yours - so be proud, and post them! I'd love to read some blog posts showing the journey of your blog and how you've progressed. Leave me your links in the comments.

As always, thanks for reading.

Em xxx 

My Top Tips for dealing with the Blogger Blues!

Sometimes the blogger blues gets hold of us all and no matter how positive we are about ourselves and our blogs... it often gets us down. I try my hardest to not compare myself to other bloggers, other writers, photographers or women, but no matter how hard I try, you can't always win against human nature. I admit, a least once a month, I may have a little sob, or a little wobble about how much time i'm spending on my blog, and if it's worth it. 

I, like many of you - put myself under great pressure. My Photographs must be perfect, my writing must be eloquent and my make up application - flawless. I'm a historic over achiever and I go from uninterested to absolutely obsessed at the flick of a switch. I've always read blogs, always searched for reviews, but It wasn't until I was actively encouraged by some like minded ladies on the internet did I start one. And now i'm here. Wittering on, almost seeming like I know 'how to blog' but the truth is, I don't - if anything I know less now than when I started as my eyes have been opened to new platforms and ways of working which I never knew existed before. 

There are a few ways I personally deal with the blogger blues they range from the sensible to soulful, but they get me through those moments.

1. It's okay to cry.

Yep, that's right, Let it go. You're upset because that blogger has the best pictures of a lipstick you've ever seen in your life. You didn't get invited to that event, you don't have as many followers... the list goes on. If any of these things get you down -  that's okay! Sometimes they get me down too. When these things happen, I like to have a sob fest and sulk in my bedroom. Jealousy is only natural, and it's how you deal with it that makes a difference. After I've finished having a little cry, I like to use it as a learning curve, and work harder and stronger. If you really want to be great at something, you have to work for it, and inspire yourself.

2. Compare your first blog post with your last.

The following two images were taken 6 months apart - from my first blog post and my last.

In the past 6 months since I started my blog, not only have I massively improved my make up collection, writing and confidence - but also my photography skills. It's easy to forget where you started when you only look at where you want to be.

Both images were taken by myself with the exact same camera. It's funny how much difference there is! It's a great visual reference for how hard I've worked and how much effort I've put in. 

3. Snap back to reality.

If you're not a full time blogger and you compare yourself to somebody who is - you're going to have a bad time. I spend at least 30 hours a week blogging, often much longer. I do this on top of the 50 hour week I currently work. 

Comparing myself to somebody who has 50 hours more time to focus on blogging will never work in my favour and it's important to remember that often the best blogs grow organically and at the right time. Blog for you, for the right reasons. Don't blog to become the next person with 5 million subscribers. The Sooner you snap back to reality and focus on your blog, instead of your expectations... the happier you'll be.

I hope my top tips came in useful and I'd love to hear yours! Let me know in the comments!

Em xxx

My Tips & Tricks To Feel More Confident & Comfortable At Blogger Events.

It's no secret that I crumble when I go to events. Walking into a room full of people you don't know, but who all seem to know each other scares the crap out of me, and as new blogger, it happens to me almost every time I attend some sort of press or blogger event.

Over the past few months, since i've got to know more bloggers online and attented more functions I've picked up a few tips that I've started to introduce into my daily life.

This may seem odd, writing a post on how to be more confident when i'm often a crumbling wreck at events, but as so many lovely people have messaged me about my confidence post, I'd thought i'd share a little more of my journey with you. You never know, if it helped me, it may help you too.


1. Outfit.
I'm not a fashion blogger, and quite frankly I know very little about fashionable clothes. I kind of do my own thing and buy what I think will suit my body, rather than what's 'in' at the moment. With that in mind, when you're going to an industry event, full of fashionable or beautiful people - I don't recommend changing up your personal style. What i mean by that is, If you don't wear backless dresses, super short shorts, or bright clashing prints... now may not be the time to experiment if you're shy or nervous about the event. The added insecurities about your outfit, won't help your confidence levels at the event.

It may not be 'cool' to rewear an outfit lots of times, but if that lucky black dress, or your favourite jeans make you feel like a supermodel. Wear it.

I have an outfit that I like to wear to events where I know i'm nervous, or scared as it relieves that added pressure of 'does this outfit look okay? Sometimes I even wear my massive floppy hat, as it acts as a safety blanket to hide behind.

2. The Safety Call
Whether it's your boyfriend, mum, best friend, or sibling... we all have that one person who helps us to feel good about ourselves, make us laugh or calm our nerves. For me that's my boyfriend. He puts up with a lot of my freak outs and panic stricken phone calls before I go to events, and god help him for the times when i'm running late for something. He let's me vent, let's me freak out and then calms me down and stops me from crying and getting too anxious about what time i'll arrive.  90% of the events I go to, i'll be on the phone to him up until I reach the front door to the venue.

 I find that after speaking to him, I know that i'll mentally be calm and in a good place when I walk through the door, giving me the chance to attempt to be 'confident'.

3. The Blogger Date
This is something I mentioned to the girls at The London Blogger Dinner I hosted a few weeks back. If you know in advance that you're going to be attending an event on your own (as I usually do) make a blogger date!

I've made quite a few blogger dates over the past few months, and they've come to fruition via Twitter. Ask on twitter if anyone else is going to the event, if the event has a hashtag, use that, or even the well known hashtags to try and find out who else is going. If you find a few bloggers that you speak to online are already going, why not DM them, and ask if you can meet up before hand? grab a coffee before the event, or even meet at the train/tube station!

Chances are, you're not the only person who is crapping themselves about turning up on their own, so try and arrange a blogger date before hand so you can text each other and go together. It definitely helps me to feel more comfortable and relaxed. I've even started to make some amazing friends!

. As I learn more tips and tricks over the coming months, I'll share them.  These 3 things have helped me, and I hope they help you too!

Em xxx

Letting The Light Into Your Life - A Lifestyle Introduction.

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be almost a journey of self discovery, or as I like to call it - "How to girl". I'm not a make up artist, nor do I claim to be. I'm just a girl who obsesses over things to the point of compulsion. Make up and beauty have always been a love of mine, and this blog is my little home on the internet to share that with you.

I recently wrote about how blogging helped me get my confidence back and off the back of that post, I've had so so many lovely emails, tweets and comments from readers telling me that my post has helped them and asking me to write more lifestyle posts, or posts where they can get to know me more.

Over the past 6 months since I started this blog I've changed for the better. I'm happier, i'm slightly more confident and I haven't had a day where I've felt like an empty shell who cries for no reason and can't bare the thought of facing the world. I feel like I've let the light into my life and I guess you can say I feel ready to open up more and break the barriers around me down - with baby steps of course.

I've always wanted to be able to write and add in a few lifestyle posts here and there, that are a bit more than product launches or parties. This is my way of kinda easing you guys into it. I don't want to put you guys off reading because I'm not talking about lipsticks or eye shadows... so i'm going to try and write one lifestyle post a week, and If I become organised, try and keep it to the same day... which I of course can't guarantee will happen...

So I guess this is just a heads up, expect to see anything from my idea of the perfect date day out to my thoughts and advice on building confidence (when I learn how) and making new friends. I'm going to be sharing more of my personal journey with you and I would love to hear your feedback on this. I'm still so new to blogging, and it's all a little bit scary, but I guess in order to make new friends and truly be happy, you need to let go of your fears and put yourself out there... If I can do it, you can do it.

Em xx

How blogging helped me get my confidence back.

I post pictures of myself on the internet without make up, I've just started a YouTube channel and I attend blogger events every month, yet when people meet me, they're surprised at how shy I actually am. I find it hard to meet new people, to put myself out there 'in real life' and to make friends.

Life has it's ups and downs, and previous events in my life for various reasons have shaped me into the person I am today. I never used to be shy, I never used to find it hard to talk to people. Sometimes I used to be the loudest person in the room. Yet when life deals you a series of blows, you adapt and protect yourself. I guess for me, that meant hermit mode, and a mile long mental barrier i'd built around myself.

I started this blog 6 months ago as a hobby, and as a way to explore my love of makeup whilst learning 'how to girl'. If you had told me that in the first 6 months, my content on 2 platforms would be viewed over 125,000 times - I would never have believed you and I still can't quite believe that has actually happened.

However, it's not the stats, or page views that have helped me, nor is it the follower count. What has really helped me begin the process of getting my confidence back is actually the blogging community. More specifically my fellow bloggers and the warmth and welcome I've received from them.

There have been a few stand out moments to me in the past few months that have meant the world to me, from people going out of their way to make me feel welcome when they could sense I was a bit lost or nervous at events... to the support, encouragement and backing from bloggers online, who believe in me.

This week I attended the Bourjois Summer Party in London, and for the first time in a while, I felt more confident at  a blogger event. It may have been that I'd already text a few bloggers letting them know I was on my way or attending, or even the fact that I'd already worked out there were at least 5 people in the building I had met at least once before; but something about the event on Wednesday made me feel a little different, stand up a little taller and smile a little more.

 I started to feel more content with myself, and happier - less self conscious (but well, let's face it still as awkward as ever) and the reason for that essentially boils down to the fact that I felt welcome. I felt like I fit in and I felt like I belonged there and that is all down to the blogging community.

I look forward to the times when I don't freak out before I travel somewhere, or need to text people in advance, I don't need to panic if I look okay, or pretend to look busy on my phone and also the times when I can walk into a room and strike up a conversation with someone I don't know. I've come this far in 6 months, and I sure as hell can't wait to see where i'll be at in another.

TL;DR:  Thank you for being awesome, welcoming and caring. Bloggers really do make the greatest friends.