A Self Confidence Journey...

One of the things I get asked about fairly frequently is advice on learning to love the skin you're in. I'm the last person to ever say my blog is all about natural beauty, what with my love of make up products and bleaching my hair.. However, I love finding new ways to feel beautiful from within, and the biggest thing that can affect that beauty is confidence.

Sometimes it's easy to lose track of where you've come from, when you constantly looking towards where you want to be. I took some time this week to reflect and remind myself of what I've achieved in my self confidence journey in what is almost 10 months of blogging and I wanted to share my confidence journey with you too.

Here's a list of all my inner beauty posts so far. It helped me more than I realized writing these posts, and even more reading them back. I hope they can help you too.

Dealing With Hate & Criticism

Why It's OKAY To Feel Lonely

The Fear of Never Being Good Enough

The Ugly Side of Beauty

How Blogging Helped improve my self esteem...

How Learning To Love My Pale Skin Made Me Happy

Why Life Is Too Short For Matching Socks

Why It's Important To Compare Yourself... To Yourself And Nobody Else.

Top Tips For Dealing With The Blogger Blues

Tips & Tricks To Feel More Confident At Blogger Events

How Blogging Helped Me Get My Confidence Back

Thanks for reading, and If you've ever written a self confidence post, leave me a link below! I'd love to read it. 

Em xxx

Why It's OKAY to feel Lonely.

Sometimes when the sun goes down and I'm just left with me and my emotions, it almost feels as if there's a whole world ticking on by, inside my head. Where every second can be a year of my life flashing through my mind surrounded by thoughts of people and places from past to present.
There always seems to be something constantly and selfishly running through my mind at 2:00am even though i'd likely wasted the previous two or three or four hours browsing the internet and refreshing news articles hoping to see some other form of internet junk for eyes appear in front of me, often in the hopes that it will spur on some sort of thoughts and feelings of happiness, excitement or cause me to reminisce of times gone by instead of wistfully wasting away hours which are better spent elsewhere.

There often seems to be an endless amount of nights gone by where it's just me and my laptop, connecting, chatting and talking online - where fairly frequently one can be found to be the life and soul of the (internet) party surrounded by thousands of friends at the click of a button and the swipe of a finger, although in reality, it's just me and my well loved cuddly animals at home with some sort unhealthy carb based meal that I'll likely regret an hour after finishing.

Sometimes I even close my laptop and imagine what it's like to spend more time outside where i'm surrounded by friends in what most 'normal' people would call real life. At a a venue that I don't have keys for and a place where there isn't a laptop in site, confidence is mile high and there's not a worry in the world.

And when I find myself wide awake at 2:00am thinking of all the things I didn't do that evening and all the friends that I don't have, sometimes I smile. Sometimes I simper and squeeze the duvet that extra bit tighter because I know what it feels like to feel alive.

Because in all honesty, it's better to feel loneliness and stay true to who you are as a person, hold your own thoughts, feelings and flaws close to you, and be in a safe environment where you can spend the whole entire weekend sat around in your pants, where a 'sharing sized' bag of Doritos means 'meal for one' and not brushing your hair for 48 hours is perfectly acceptable. It's better to worry about a lack of social life than fill every precious moment with fake friends in even faker environments to conform to a perception of a perfect life.

There may often be positives hidden away somewhere deep down inside a negative and if you find yourself feeling lonely when home alone, in a crowded room full of people, on the tube, or even in the street.. I try and remember that the only difference between solitude and loneliness is a state of mind and instead of focusing on the negative implications that can come with being alone, and instead think of the positive aspects that come with pure reflection.

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.

Henry Rollins

And that, my lovely internet friends, is why it's okay to feel lonely.

Em xxx 

Why It's OKAY to feel Lonely.

Sometimes when the sun goes down and I'm just left with me and my emotions, it almost feels as if there's a whole world ticking on by, inside my head. Where every second can be a year of my life flashing through my mind surrounded by thoughts of people and places from past to present.
There always seems to be something constantly and selfishly running through my mind at 2:00am even though i'd likely wasted the previous two or three or four hours browsing the internet and refreshing news articles hoping to see some other form of internet junk for eyes appear in front of me, often in the hopes that it will spur on some sort of thoughts and feelings of happiness, excitement or cause me to reminisce of times gone by instead of wistfully wasting away hours which are better spent elsewhere.

There often seems to be an endless amount of nights gone by where it's just me and my laptop, connecting, chatting and talking online - where fairly frequently one can be found to be the life and soul of the (internet) party surrounded by thousands of friends at the click of a button and the swipe of a finger, although in reality, it's just me and my well loved cuddly animals at home with some sort unhealthy carb based meal that I'll likely regret an hour after finishing.

Sometimes I even close my laptop and imagine what it's like to spend more time outside where i'm surrounded by friends in what most 'normal' people would call real life. At a a venue that I don't have keys for and a place where there isn't a laptop in site, confidence is mile high and there's not a worry in the world.

And when I find myself wide awake at 2:00am thinking of all the things I didn't do that evening and all the friends that I don't have, sometimes I smile. Sometimes I simper and squeeze the duvet that extra bit tighter because I know what it feels like to feel alive.

Because in all honesty, it's better to feel loneliness and stay true to who you are as a person, hold your own thoughts, feelings and flaws close to you, and be in a safe environment where you can spend the whole entire weekend sat around in your pants, where a 'sharing sized' bag of Doritos means 'meal for one' and not brushing your hair for 48 hours is perfectly acceptable. It's better to worry about a lack of social life than fill every precious moment with fake friends in even faker environments to conform to a perception of a perfect life.

There may often be positives hidden away somewhere deep down inside a negative and if you find yourself feeling lonely when home alone, in a crowded room full of people, on the tube, or even in the street.. I try and remember that the only difference between solitude and loneliness is a state of mind and instead of focusing on the negative implications that can come with being alone, and instead think of the positive aspects that come with pure reflection.

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.

Henry Rollins

And that, my lovely internet friends, is why it's okay to feel lonely.

Em xxx 

How Blogging Improved My Self-Esteem...

When I first started posting make up looks online, I did so on a forum where it was all about the make up. Nobody cared what your name was or where you were from, they just wanted to see what you'd created. After constant requests and tons of encouragement, I finally started a blog and to be honest, I had no idea what would come of it.

I didn't expect that in less than 9 months, tens of thousands of people would view my blog every month, I'd get the opportunities I have been given and I'd meet the people I have. My Pale Skin is my baby, and I love how much happiness and warmth it has brought into my life.

A few things My Pale Skin has changed for me is my confidence and along with that, it has brought me friendship. A lot of people struggle with loneliness, and you know what,  i'm not afraid to admit that for the past few years I didn't have friends, I suffered from low self esteem, as well as loneliness... All I did in life was go to work, go home, eat, sleep. That was my life - if you could call it one. I was a shell of myself, and to be honest, I barely recognized who I was anymore.

Blogging changed all that for me. It gave me an outlet to be creative, an opportunity to feel empowered, and a chance to connect with other people online who share the same interests, in a way I often struggle with in life. When you're a child, making friends is easy, you have so many options and places you can meet others, however what you don't learn until you're an adult, is how difficult it is to make actual friends. Everyone is busy, nobody has anything in common and if like me, you live in London - nobody talks to each other.

I've met so many new people, at some great events and I feel like i've made some amazing friends since I began blogging, and they've all helped me in different ways. It's funny how personal confidence and self esteem can affect making friends and it's only since I began putting myself out there more, letting myself be awkward, and knowing that sometimes you need to have the bad experiences to appreciate the good has my life changed.

I'm so thankful to everyone who takes the time to read my blog and for the opportunities and friends that I've made through blogging. I can't wait to see where i'm at mentally and creatively in a years time and I hope you stick around for the jourey.

Em xxx